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Seeking a direction
Much like Luke Skywalker
I grew up on a small farm, working hard to do my best and to live
right. Unfortunately, I was often frustrated at my inability "to
do what I wanted to do" and to not "do want I do not
want to do." (Romans 7) I questioned what I should do with
my life and whether my existence was, or ever would be, worthwhile.
Despite the great love my family showed me, I always wondered
if I was truly worthy of love. These nagging questions developed
into frustration, impatience and depression as I tried by my own
efforts to live my life. I didn't know what I was supposed to
do with my life or where I should go. Even though I had asked
Jesus to forgive my sins as an eight-year-old boy at church camp,
my life was not showing the mark of His love, direction or purpose.
My Herald and its call to
adventure
Like Luke, I had no
idea what type of herald God would send to invite me on the adventure
of the spirit-filled life. Unlike Luke, my herald was not a friendly
little astromech droid but a twenty foot section of tree that
concaved my skull.
Initial refusal of call
At first, I questioned
why God had allowed this terrible tragedy to befall me. It seemed
like I wasn't worth protecting and Worthlessness served as my
threshold guardian. I kept my mom up many nights until three a.m.
discussing whether I had any purpose in life.
Passing the first threshold
Initially this soul
searching probably did more to upset my mom than it did to find
any answers. (bless her soul for bearing with me!) But it was
at this time that I resolved to find out how to live for God,
even if it killed me. (No pun intended.) I decided that I was
going to have blind faith and trust that God spared my life because
He loved me and had a purpose for me.
Wise and helpful guides
The second day on campus,
two wise and helpful guides from Campus Crusade for Christ knocked
on my dorm door. Throughout my years in college, I would learn
a great many things about the Lord and about ministry through
Campus Crusade. One of the greatest benefits, however, would be
teaming up with my hero partners.
Hero partners
My hero partners were
named Barry, Eric, and John. Together the four of us formed the
E Team, a group of men dedicated to serving the Lord and helping
each other through the tough times.
Mystic (Spiritual) insight
As men of God, we sought
the Lord's direction through Bible Study and prayer.
Labyrinth and Rescue
Through these two avenues,
we were able to make our way through the labyrinth of college
and discover some important lessons about ourselves and our place
in God's world.
Losing the guide
Unfortunately, the
E Team had a hard time holding onto leaders. It seemed like leaders
came and went. Even on the summer project in Virginia Beach, I
lost my wise and helpful Crusade guides the day the staff left
the project in the students' hands. I realized then that some
day I would have to fight some battles by myself.
Hero deeds and dragon slayers
The year after my Virginia
Beach project, I had renewed vigor to slay the dragons on campus
and I fought the forces of darkness so that people could come
to know Jesus as Savior.
Dark road of trials / Into
the belly of the beast
The next summer I traveled
the dark road of trials. My faith was shaken and I questioned
every step of my spiritual journey. Much like Luke, I entered
the cave with Vader and faced my evil side. I felt consumed with
sinfulness and like Job cursed the day I was even born. I could
not understand how God could create such an sinful being.
The hunt
I survived this dark
road of trials by renewing my hunt for the spirit-filled life.
My walk started to straighten out.
Mystic Marriage / Sacred grove
About this time, God
blessed me with an incredible encourager and prayer warrior as
my life partner and soul-mate. I took Crisha to the Sacred grove
known as Vesper Hill at church camp and made my second biggest
commitment. Having Crisha as my wife truly helped me in my spiritual
journey.
Sacrifice and betrayal
God provided me with
an incredible job, but I nearly betrayed him and my wife by devoting
far too much time to my job and not nearly enough time to her
or Him.
Entombment / hero's return
and acceptance of opposite
I felt trapped in a
grave and I realized that I had been the one who had rolled the
stone in front of the only entrance/exit.
Resurrection
At this point, I again
renewed my vows to the Lord and invited his resurrection power
into my life.
Monster combat / Resurgence
of evil
This, of course, caused
a resurgence of evil as Satan thrust me into the monster combat
of immense spiritual conflict.
Descent into the underworld
I felt trapped again
by trial and temptation, as if I had descended to hell itself
and was forced to live there for the duration of my physical existence.
Atonement with the Father
It is in this "what
I want to do I don't do, what I do, I don't want to do" hell
that I have to constantly confess and repent of my sins to atone
with my Father.
Unmasking
By admitting my faults
on a daily basis, I am able to remove my masks and stand openly
before God.
Final Victory
While being submitted
to trials and temptations is not enjoyable, it is a way of life
I must endure until God returns as He promised and I reap the
final victory over sin, death, and the grave.
If you desire this same victory,
click here to take the Highway to Heaven
or click here if you wish to learn more about the farm boy.